From “Well-Rounded” to “Well-Designed”

“The problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It’s that you’re destroying the peg.” Paul Collins

For generations, the goal in life has been to be well-rounded—competent in many areas, balanced in skills, and free from obvious weaknesses. This ideal has shaped how we educate children, evaluate employees, and even measure personal worth. Yet today, that long-held belief is being set aside—not because balance no longer matters, but because we now understand human potential more clearly.

The “well-rounded” ideal emerged in systems designed for uniformity. Schools and workplaces favored predictability and standardization, rewarding those who could perform adequately across a wide range of expectations. Differences were often framed as deficits to be corrected rather than variations to be valued. For many—especially neurodistinct individuals—this meant spending enormous amounts of energy compensating for challenges instead of developing strengths.

In our book The Neurodiversity Connection, we highlight how neuroscience and lived experience affirm that human brains are not evenly wired. Each of us is created with a unique cognitive profile—areas of deep strength alongside areas of genuine struggle. These “spiky profiles” are not flaws; they are expressions of natural human diversity. When we insist on rounding out every edge, we often dull the very gifts that allow individuals to flourish and risk “destroying the peg”.

Letting go of the expectation to be well-rounded is not an excuse to avoid growth or responsibility. Rather, it is an invitation to become well-designed: self-aware, supported, and positioned to contribute in brilliant ways that align with how we are wired. It shifts the question from “Where do you fall short?” to “What do you bring?”

This reframing is central to the message of The Neurodiversity Connection. Neuroinclusion is not about lowering standards or ignoring challenges; it is about designing environments where differences are anticipated, struggles are supported, and strengths are cultivated . Thriving communities, schools, and organizations aren’t built by individuals who do everything well; they are built by teams of people who bring unique and differing perspectives, insights and gifts.

When we remove the pressure to be well-rounded, we both protect and empower the students in our classrooms and the colleagues on our teams. We make space for something better—the kind of excellence, creativity and innovation that emerges when people contribute from a place of strength.

For practical ways to move away from well-rounded and towards better design, get a copy of The Neurodiversity Connection: An Educator’s Guide to Understanding Differing Neurotypes to Support Student Success!